Books with author Sue Limb

Life was tragic enough before this spring started. With a distinct lack of boobage and an arse so big that birds of prey could nest within its shadows, Jess Jordan is saddled with the Goddess Flora for a best friend, a Britney Spears look-alike so gorgeous that one grain of her divine dandruff could make the blind see again. Jess knows that her soul mate is Ben Jones, a divine mixture of Leonardo diCaprio, Prince William, and Brad Pitt who oozes mystery and charisma. But the campaign to get Ben to notice her brings on a cavalcade of mortification and disaster, including, but not limited to, a minestrone soup explosion that takes place in her bra and a schoolwide viewing of a videotape that features a topless Jess referring to her breasts as “Bonnie” and “Clyde.”Meanwhile, Jess’s death-obsessed Granny moves into her bedroom, along with her grandfather’s remains; her hypochondriac dad, who sends her daily “horrorscopes” like “You will fall asleep with your mouth open, and a family of earwigs will move in,” acts strange about Jess staying with him this summer; and her longtime friend Fred, a television violence addict and closet thumbsucker, has decided that he can’t stand being around her. Jess is determined to make things right . . . but with her offbeat sense of humor and her wildly active imagination, things get complicated along the way.

Just when things were going so well.Jess had the perfect summer planned: She and Fred, lounging in the park, gazing into one another’s eyes and engaging in witty repartee. It was going to be so romantic. And then her maddening mum stepped in: She suddenly announced a two-week “road trip” to Cornwall to visit Jess’s dad, something Jess might have enjoyed, actually, were it not for the monstrously bad timing. Not only will this force Jess and Fred apart for two whole weeks, it will also leave the darling and handsome Fred in the clutches of Jess’s blindingly beautiful best friend, Flora—who, you might recall, expressed an interest in Fred not too long ago. As if all this weren’t enough, Jess’s mum seems to expect her to weep at the grave of every departed literary hero in Britain’s long history. It’s absolute torture. And little does Jess know, a huge surprise awaits her when she visits her dad at his home for the first time in years.From the Hardcover edition.

Jess Jordan is barely 15. Fred is her often-aggravating best guy friend; her father is a lonely bachelor; Flora is her gorgeous best friend, a constant liability; and Ben Jones is barely a twinkle in her eye. Into this innocent scene are dropped 30 or so helpless French exchange students. Jess and her mother are assigned to house Eduoard, a shy, awkward, and painfully English-deprived boy Jess’s age. To counter what Jess fears is Eduoard’s growing crush on her, Jess convinces her friend Fred to pose as her boyfriend, but he refuses to take their fake relationship seriously. Add a gorgeous, womanizing French student, an ill-fated camping trip in a student’s backyard, and Flora just being, well, Flora, and you have all the makings of an international incident. Will Jess be able to keep the peace, or even translate the whole debacle to the confused French students? The future of England is on the line. . . .

It's never fun when a great summer comes to an end.Particularly when one argues with one’s adorable, but grossly insensitive, boyfriend the night before school starts. It’s such a terrible fight, Jess doesn’t know—are they broken up? Should she apologize? Too bad Jess is spending all her time in detention and can’t talk to Fred to figure it out. A sadistic new English teacher has decided Jess needs an attitude adjustment, and Jess can’t seem to stop making terrible mistakes. When she ends up pantless in her own backyard, Jess is left to ask herself: Where did she go wrong? And what can be done to make it up to Fred and salvage this horrible, horrible year?

Just when things were going so well.Jess had the perfect summer planned: She and Fred, lounging in the park, gazing into one another’s eyes and engaging in witty repartee. It was going to be so romantic. And then her maddening mum stepped in: She suddenly announced a two-week “road trip” to Cornwall to visit Jess’s dad, something Jess might have enjoyed, actually, were it not for the monstrously bad timing. Not only will this force Jess and Fred apart for two whole weeks, it will also leave the darling and handsome Fred in the clutches of Jess’s blindingly beautiful best friend, Flora—who, you might recall, expressed an interest in Fred not too long ago. As if all this weren’t enough, Jess’s mum seems to expect her to weep at the grave of every departed literary hero in Britain’s long history. It’s absolute torture. And little does Jess know, a huge surprise awaits her when she visits her dad at his home for the first time in years.

Disaster! Jess tried to hide her horror. Her mum frowned. 'What's wrong, sweetheart? It's what you've always wanted!'Jess's mum has finally given in and arranged a trip to see Jess's dad. But this is so the wrong moment: Jess has just got it together with Fred, and in an incredibly romantic way he has scraped money together to get them both tickets to the hottest music festival . . . but instead Jess is going on a road trip with her mum and her grandmother (and her grandfather, but he doesn't quite count as he is ashes in an urn).Jess is keen to keep in touch with Fred by text while she is away, but after a while he just stops responding. And her best friend Flora is now going to the exact same music festival Jess was supposed to go to! Jess can't help her paranoia about Fred working overtime. If Jess isn't careful, her worries are going to completely spoil her much-wanted visit to her dad. But when she gets there, it turns out that everybody has a surprise for each other. Needless to say, some work out better than others . . .In this sequel Sue Limb has surpassed herself. The writing is still fresh, funny and effervescent, but at the same time Sue has captured the difficult, prickly but, above all, loving relationship between a daughter and her parents.

Fred and Jodie are now an item. Disaster! But Jess soon has other things to worry about when she invites a few friends over for a quiet night in and word accidentally gets out that she's having a huge party. More and more people arrive, many of whom Jess doesn't even know! The evening spins out of control, Jess's house is devastated and her mum's beloved daffodils are trampled. Double disaster! Jess is seriously going to need her friends' help to get out of this dilemma . . .

Life was tragic enough before this spring started. With a distinct lack of boobage and an arse so big that birds of prey could nest within its shadows, Jess Jordan is saddled with the Goddess Flora for a best friend, a Britney Spears look-alike so gorgeous that one grain of her divine dandruff could make the blind see again. Jess knows that her soul mate is Ben Jones, a divine mixture of Leonardo diCaprio, Prince William, and Brad Pitt who oozes mystery and charisma. But the campaign to get Ben to notice her brings on a cavalcade of mortification and disaster, including, but not limited to, a minestrone soup explosion that takes place in her bra and a schoolwide viewing of a videotape that features a topless Jess referring to her breasts as “Bonnie” and “Clyde.”Meanwhile, Jess’s death-obsessed Granny moves into her bedroom, along with her grandfather’s remains; her hypochondriac dad, who sends her daily “horrorscopes” like “You will fall asleep with your mouth open, and a family of earwigs will move in,” acts strange about Jess staying with him this summer; and her longtime friend Fred, a television violence addict and closet thumbsucker, has decided that he can’t stand being around her. Jess is determined to make things right . . . but with her offbeat sense of humor and her wildly active imagination, things get complicated along the way.

Girl, 15, Charming But Insane, huge bum, massive ears, seeks ... Well, seeks Ben Jones, but failing that, large Muslim-type burka garment to cover her deformities.Life can be trying when your best friend is a goddess, you are a woeful underachiever, and Ben Jones won't even look in your direction. Painfully spot on, Girl, 15 reveals with Technicolor precision the agony and the ecstasy (and the embarrassment) of being a teenager. With razor-sharp observation and deadpan humour we are offered a privileged peek at the life of Jess, 15, charming, but most definitely insane. This novel has a unique voice and humour that will make you want to read it again and again - if you can bring yourself to put it down in the first place.

Jess and Fred are finally an 'item'. They have spent the remainder of their summer holidays just as they planned to - creating fabulous comedy routines together. Until one fateful morning in the park just before term starts, when Fred casually mentions that he's not sure he wants to go out with Jess any more . . . Jess is OUTRAGED!Sue Limb's narrative is fresh, funny and effervescent, simultaneously capturing the agonies, the indecisions, the wrong moves and the misunderstandings that are all part of a first-ever relationship . . .

Jess is in a fix. She has to write a letter to Edouard, her French exchange, before he comes to visit, and her normal ability to write charismatic, charming and seductive letters has deserted her. But there is an even worse problem. She has to send a photo. The idea fills Jess with a special sort of fear. But she has a solution - a digitally enhanced solution - and who better to ask to help than her best mate Fred?It's only when you've stopped laughing that you realise in addition to being incredibly funny, Sue Limb has dealt seamlessly with the bigger themes of friendship and loyaltyFans will lap up this prequel as it charts Fred and Jess's relationship - and Jess's relationships with others - before Fred and Jess actually get together. The whole book sparkles with Sue Limb's characteristic wit and humour, and will send fans racing to read the rest of the books in the series.